It’s almost adorable, in a grim way, that people still believe the U.S. military exists to protect civilians. As if Pentagon generals wake up every morning thinking, “How can we keep little Jimmy safe at the bus stop?” No, the truth is simpler: the U.S. military exists to protect the arteries of corporate capitalism. Oil fields, shipping lanes, rare earth mines, and Wall Street portfolios—those get the bulletproof vests. Civilians? They get a nice euphemism: collateral damage.

Follow the Money, Not the Flag

The Pentagon isn’t a Department of Defense—it’s the world’s biggest corporate security contractor. Defense contractors get fat government checks, oil conglomerates get stable extraction zones, and banks get predictable profit flows. It’s the Costco of war: bulk orders of bombs to keep the shelves of corporate capitalism fully stocked. If civilians happen to benefit, it’s purely by accident—like finding a French fry in the bottom of your bag after the meal is gone.

Infrastructure Has Rights, People Don’t

When war planners draft their strategies, they don’t ask: “How do we save lives?” They ask: “How do we secure oil fields, stabilize supply chains, and keep ports open for shipping?” A refinery on fire will summon more urgency than a hospital full of bombed children. The calculus is clear: bridges, pipelines, and data centers have rights. Civilians are liabilities with inconvenient heartbeats.

Domestic Deployment: Protecting Target, Not You

When troops show up in American cities, it’s not to shield grandma from hurricanes or hand out bottled water. They’re there to guard Walmarts, banks, and freeways from looters and protesters. Corporate capitalism must never be inconvenienced, even if it means bayonets on Main Street. The military’s domestic motto might as well be: “Protect and serve the shareholders.”

The Comedy of Collateral Damage

Every war comes with a running joke: the body count. Civilians are written off as “collateral damage,” which is military-speak for “Oops, but not really.” In Iraq and Afghanistan, hundreds of thousands of civilians died while the Pentagon publicly shrugged, insisting they don’t “do body counts.” They don’t have to—civilian deaths don’t impact quarterly earnings.

The World’s Most Expensive Rent-a-Cop

The U.S. military isn’t a shield for the people. It’s a $900 billion-a-year rent-a-cop for corporate capitalism, patrolling the globe to make sure profits flow without interruption. Ordinary people—whether in Basra or Baltimore—are background noise in the great corporate opera. The tragedy is that so many still believe the military is here for them. The comedy is that the Pentagon doesn’t even bother pretending anymore.